BABYLON AD

By Ken Harvey:

4 time Pro Bowler, Arizona Cardinals, Washington Redskins

My last preview just so happened to be the first time I previewed a movie. After reading what I wrote my son looked at me and told me that I was all wrong. He enjoyed the movie and that I did not know what I was talking about. (Kids) After teaching him why I am called dad, I thought about what he said and realized that the true talent in reviewing movies is looking at it from all perspectives, including that of a 14 year only child.  So I released all my different personality and watched Babylon A.D.

Ok, here is the formula in Hollywood for an action movies, get a fairly big name actor, get lucky and get big name female action star, shoot the movie in a depressed, war torn future and create a task that seems impossible to accomplish without the superhuman effort of our hero.  Vin Diesel is the Hero, Michelle Yeoh is the female action start and the plot is for him to bring a young lady from Russia into America.  The young lady played by Melanie Thierry, is carrying a package that can help empower a religious sect in America, everyone wants to use her or kill her and so that sets up the plot for the movie. One of the key lines in the movie is, “trust no one”. 

Ok, I made the mistake and trusted that this was going to be a good movie. Vin Diesel gruff voice opened the movie as he talked about the situation and about the day he died. That got me interested and ready for the action which there was a decent amount of but I had a few questions. It open up in Russia and Vin Diesel had to get his young package to America. Ok, and why? By the time I figured out how to pronounce the names of different states they went to, they were already on the next scene and I was trying to figure out why the first scene happened.  There were some ok fight scenes, guns and explosions but throughout the movie you kept asking yourself why, and who cares.  The movie fell flat because it tried to be a story but you were so annoyed by the fact that you were trying to figure out what was going on that you could not enjoy that action.

My new rating system will be stars. My reason is because Athletes are stars and space deals with stars. (Corny I know, but oh well)  Now you understand the why and here is the action. I give this movie three stars out of ten.

3 out of 10 stars

                        DEATH RACE 3000

By Ken Harvey:

4 time Pro Bowler, Arizona Cardinals, Washington Redskins

Ok, so here is the deal. This was my first time watching a movie to review and it was a little bit different because I had to try to remember parts about the movie even if I did not like it. That being said there were some forgettable parts to this movie.

The movie, “Death Race” is based off of Roger Corman old film, “Death race 2,000” which was made in 1975.  The fact that is was a remake of a movie done 33 years ago would suggest that those who remember it were very young at the time of it’s release and now are too old, and perhaps wise to plop down enough money to watch it again.

The filmed stared Jason Statham, Joan Allen, Ian McShane, Tyrese Gibson, Natalie Martinez; most people came to see Jason Statham who stared in the “Transporter” movies. Fast cars, explosion, and prison are the foundation of this movie and like most that is the reason we showed up was see some action. Unfortunately the movie tried to take the exciting parts of a race car video game and make it into an 89 minute movie.  Yep, there were some action scenes and some cars being blown up but you would expect that and what they gave you wasn’t enough to keep you excited.

The story line was simplistic, man goes to jail for a crime he did not commit in order to race cars for a corrupt prison warden. The movie is set in the future, which gives people the right to dress funny or wear costumes and TV violence is lord. (Wait, that sounds like football) anyhow, you know pretty much how it will end and the only thing that would make you watch it is that you hope the story is surprising good or that there is a lot of cool action. There was not enough of either.

I would say to go watch this if you have a lot of money and have nothing to do but if not don’t waist your time. It may excite a younger audience that has yet to gain their driver license but these old bones have seen the same plot done way to many times.

Please send suggested video games and simulators for review